Supportive?

So my family often hurts me by going back and forth with their feelings about me being gay. I have not been gay all my life and in fact I just recently feel in love with a woman not even a year ago. I know that it has been hard for them, but it is also hard on me. I didnt know that I was gay until I met her. It has been life altering for me as well. I have to admit though that for the most part they have been supportive. My dad and twin brother say they love me no matter what and I am who I am no matter what so it does not matter either way to them as long as I am happy. I think that is how everyone should be. My mom is very religious so she doesnt agree with everything, but she loves my girlfriend and has accepted it for the most part. My older brother though has been the hardest to get through to. His main concern is his kids. He thinks that they should not be subjected to this so young. Well I have news for him, they will find out some day. And probably sooner than he thinks. So shouldnt it come from him. Or at least family. He likes my girlfriend. He just is afraid my niece will ask questions.

Here is the thing. I have said this over and over to my girlfriend. I just dont understand what is the big deal. To me it is not wrong, to me it is normal and natural, to me it is wonderful and beautiful. I am in love and the happiest I have ever been, and yet the more my brother hurts me, the more I wonder. It makes me second guess myself and feel stupid. It somewhat shuts me down and makes me numb or turn my emotions off. Then on some days I feel like running away from my family and never looking back. Even though I know it is only one person in my family, I still feel like saying "ha, see what you did now." I know that isnt right or fair and that would make me somewhat of a chicken, but it is hard. I know it could be so much worse. Anyway, that is me complaining for now. I am going to look up a charting program on my ipod so that I dont have to write it daily. We are going to start charting so that I have something to show the dr. in the clinic in May :).